41. Healing The Hidden Shame Behind Your Anxiety and Perfectionism
Do you secretly feel like you're somehow flawed and will never be good enough ?
In this episode, Ben gets vulnerable about his years-long battle with what felt like endless anxiety and self-criticism before realizing it was actually shame in disguise. Together with Mitra, they explore how shame hides behind the things we think make us "good people"—like perfectionism and people-pleasing—and what it takes to actually break free from it for good. You'll hear about the mindset shifts that changed everything for Ben, the traps that he fell into along the way, and the surprisingly simple steps you can take now to start this work without getting lost in the overwhelm that often comes with looking at our deeper patterns.
What You’ll Learn:
Spot the Invisible Enemy: Understand why shame feels like anxiety, perfectionism, or isolation rather than actual shame—and how to identify what's really going on.
Escape the Fixing Trap: Learn why treating yourself like a broken thing that needs repair actually makes shame stronger, and what mindset shift opens the door to real healing.
Choose Your Own Healing Adventure: Discover why one-size-fits-all approaches don't work and how to find the healing method that fits your specific situation and resources.
If you’re someone who ….
Constantly feels like you're not doing enough, being enough, or achieving enough
Struggles with saying no, setting boundaries, or putting yourself first
Wonders why success and accomplishments never seem to quiet that inner critic
…then you’ll want to be sure to listen in on this episode. Enjoy!
Chapters:
00:00 : How Shame Disguises Itself
02:04 : The Two Types of Shame
04:03 : Defining Chronic Shame
06:10 : Something Wrong With Me
08:48 : Breaking the Fixing Mindset
11:31 : The Traps We Fall Into
14:05 : When Shame Covers Deeper Shame
18:52 : Taking True Responsibility
23:05 : When Curiosity Isn't Enough
26:32 : Finding What Works for You
30:05 : Creating Your Anchor Point
33:37 : Moving Forward With Gentleness
34:27 : Resources and Next Steps
Links :
Learn more about Mitra’s self-coaching program: https://mitramanesh.com/
Social Media:
@mitramanesh_ (https://instagram.com/mitramanesh_)
@bendadbin (https://instagram.com/bendadbin)
@theinnerview.live (https://bit.ly/4f61J0Q)
Keywords :
Ben Dadbin, Mitra Manesh